Final Fantasy Disconnect

This video hit the internets yesterday igniting the fiery discontent of fanboys and fangirls across the country regarding the selection of Leona Lewis’ “My Hands” to replace the Japanese “Kimi Ga Iru Kara” by Sayuri Sugawara as the theme song of Final Fantasy XIII in the US/EU release.

But beneath the accusations of “weeaboo rage” and inquiries as to the identity of Leona Lewis by the accused basement-dwellers lies a real concern…

Who the hell does Square Enix think is buying their games?
Continue reading

MGS4: Release, Reaction, Retrospect

Well, it’s been over a year since I wrote on this blog. Life took various twists and turns and I ended up one thousand miles from home. In that regard, I suppose, you could say my life is similar to the game I’m discussing in this post.

snake

Metal Gear Solid 4 has been discussed to death. No doubt about it. However, even if you dig elbow deep into the recesses of the internet, you’d be hard pressed to find reviews that weren’t clouded in the excessive  hype, inflated scores and deep seated nostalgia that the finale of a series spanning two decades would naturally bring with it. Couple that with a fandom that goes to extreme lengths to defend even the most embarrassing aspects of their beloved franchise and you’ve got yourself a game that carries itself on name alone.

These articles weren’t without criticism, however. Many focus on the complaint that MGS4 often feels like watching a movie that intermittently asks you to play a video game to progress the plot. Others slam series creator Hideo Kojima’s penchant for the self referential and his less than subtle attempts to weave callbacks into the plot itself.  Attention is frequently drawn to the convoluted narrative, uneven game play, lazy explanations and frequent load screens.

So how did something that could be collectively summed up by critics as “a game that’s more of a poorly written, confusing, cliche-ridden movie than a game” receive nearly perfect scores?

Continue reading

LOLWUT: Thoughts On Localization

“Translation” and “Localization” are commonly lumped together in the same conversation. This might be because for the longest time, they were essentially the same damn thing.

The process seemed to consist of a literal, by the book translation of raw Japanese text and focused more on the subtraction of foreign elements, rather than converting them to domestic equivalents. This, of course, often resulted in confusing plots and diminished most story to an afterthought. But it was hardly an issue at the time, because as with most early games, seeing a story through to completion was not the primary objective. That’s why gems like “Congraturation! The story is happy end. Thank you.” went completely under the radar for so many years. Or at least, I hope so.


[The transition to River City Ransom's tattoo-worthy US box art.]

An interesting byproduct of a poor localization is the “mysterious” atmosphere that results from the ambiguities of a direct translation. I remember debating the intricacies of Final Fantasy VII with friends for years after it’s release, only to go back and discover that the “mysteries” were only due to a shoddy localization of an already convoluted storyline. It didn’t help that the game had a seemingly endless amount of secrets, leading almost everyone to believe that anything that didn’t make sense could be understood with enough effort or exploration. Various Aeris revival theories sprung solely from the useless nature of the “Tissue” items received as a prize in the Gold Saucer; an item that might make more sense to a Japanese gamer.
Continue reading

A Daring Introduction

Maybe it’s because it’s long over due.
Maybe it’s because of my continuing love affair with all things stress inducing and difficult. Whatever the reason, I’ve made the decision to begin work on a snarky, over-analytical video game blog of my own.

And I know what you’re thinking…

“Great. Another contribution to a blogosphere already over saturated with poorly written Seanbaby knock-offs and kids who are better suited to debating the location of Pokemon sex organs on Gamefaqs than writing game reviews.”

Right?

Well, fear not.
You’re already experiencing a break from the mold.
Because even if I do have a pretty good idea of where a Charizard’s ninja boot might be found, I can write a damn entertaining piece about it. And it’ll be more recent than 2006. (The hypothetical article. Not the Pokevag.)

I’m an old school critic.
I can’t promise angry YouTube reviews, I can’t promise a great podcast, I can’t even guarantee you’ll still think I’m attractive after I sexually objectify myself. But, I can promise that if you grew up around record shops run by elitist assholes who spend the afternoon debating the finer points of obscure jazz records behind the counter, you’ll feel right at home.

Let’s get started.